[New York] Joe’s Shanghai 鹿鸣春

Joe’s Shanghai 鹿鸣春 | www.joeshanghairestaurants.com | Yelp
Address: 9 Pell St (Chinatown), New York, NY 10014 (other locations available)
Date visited: 2013.06
Total bill: $40.50 including automatic 15% service charge (on all bills) for three people
Will return: GTFO

Dear Joe,

I don’t know if you are from Shanghai. I don’t know if you have ever been to Shanghai. I don’t know if you have ever eaten xiaolongbao in Shanghai. But your Shanghai is definitely not my Shanghai. And your Shanghai is definitely not real Shanghai. As a Shanghai girl, I live and breathe xiaolongbao and I am declaring yours awful.

Sincerely,
Shanghai Girl

萝卜丝酥饼 Shredded Turnip Shortcake ($3.95 for two pieces)
Average, not memorable. The flakey pastry layer was too thick.

葱油饼 Scallion Pancake ($2.95)
Comes with a sweet dipping sauce. Pretty average. This is easy to make at home so I really expected this to have a wow factor that only restaurant kitchens can attain. Nope.

上海韭菜虾肉云吞 Shanghai Chives & Shrimp with Meat Wonton in Broth ($6.95 for a bowl; two bowls combined shown)
The broth tasted like it was made with a powder formula with a hint of MSG. I was lunging for the tea every five seconds. The wontons themselves were just alright and could have had potential if paired with a good broth. Nope.

Also, I’m not really sure why they thought it was okay to mix two orders of wonton soup into one large bowl but they did. Two people ordered two bowls; why is that so hard? Come on, do math.

蟹粉小笼包 Crab Meat with Pork Meat Steamed Buns ($6.95 for 8 pieces)
Everything was wrong with this. Ev-ery-thing. Just… no. The skin was too thick. The soup was also very thick yet did not have a corresponding rich flavor. Wait for it, it gets even better (or worse rather?).

At first glance, the meat inside looked like it had a lot of “crab roe” but trust me, that ish was not all crab roe. I am making an educated guess but I am about 99.999999% sure what they did was mixed some crab roe with salted duck egg yolk so they could use less crab roe (think about it, they taste vaguely similar right?). Let it sink in… wait for it… boom, mind blown. So clever, but not enough to get by this Shanghai girl. Can’t fool me. Shanghainese people all have degrees in the art of xiaolongbao.

If you still decide to go after this, good luck (and remember it is cash only). Zai wai.

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